How I Made Fear My Friend
Have you ever considered making fear your friend?
Fear is a part of the human experience.
It represents one of our most primal instincts to protect ourselves, our family, and our tribe.
The thing is, most of us are not facing life threatening situations on daily basis.
But it sure feels like it sometimes, doesn’t it?
You’re not alone in your fears.
I was raised by one of the most accomplished worry warriors alive.
But over the years, I discovered a process that helped me make fear my friend.
Life is much easier now that fear and I are friends.
Would you like to make fear your friend too?
Here is the process that helped me make fear my friend:
First Notice the feeling in your body
A wave of anticipation comes over you. Your tummy does some flips. Maybe your heart beats faster. Your palms start to sweat. Your mind begins to spin. Your adrenaline rushes.
There is that old familiar feeling you know as fear, right?
But are you sure?
Because excitement gives us the same physiological response.
We associate these physical sensations with anxiety but these are the same physiological responses that we have when we feel excitement.
The definition of Anxious isn’t fear. Anxious is also anticipated excitement.
We can feel anxious to celebrate our birthday, to see a friend that we haven’t seen in awhile. We can anxiously await the dream trip we have been planning for ages.
So, before you assume there is something to be afraid of, ask yourself; “Could this feeling be excitement?”
It takes just a nanosecond for your mind to interpret and label your body’s sensation.
If your habit is to interpret this physical experience as fear, you will instantly look for a threat.
But, if you reprogram your thoughts, to evaluate your surroundings before labeling the feeling you may discover that you feel excited rather than frightened.
If your body sensation is excitement, rest into the anticipation of all the amazing potentialities.
Enjoy the feelings. Let the butterflies tickle your belly. Let the adrenaline fill you with creativity.
Sometimes, the body reaction is fear.
If there is a potential threat, acknowledge and address it.
This is key to self-preservation. When you ignore your physiological warning signs you put yourself at risk. This amplifies the fear.
If there is an immediate threat to your safety, act.
Use the gifts of fear; adrenaline, strength and focus to support you in resolving the situation.
When the threat has dissolved, acknowledge the gift of the emotion with gratitude.
Once you are safe, notice how your body, people around you, and the Divine supported you.
Allow the cells of your body to relax.
Feel gratitude for the fear that alerted you to create safety.
Sometimes the body reaction is to a perceived fear.
When fear is triggered by an imagined or potential threat but it still feels real…Indulge.
We tend to want to push the feeling of fear away.
We are taught to control our thoughts and keep a positive outlook.
This can sometimes backfire. The more we push away thoughts of fear the more they can seem to fester.
When fear surfaces, I let myself indulge and explore the emotion.
If the fear is attached to a specific thought, allow yourself to explore all the possible outcomes… yes even the worst-case scenario.
Once you have indulged in this, imagine how you will handle these possibilities.
Grab evidence from the past when you handled similar situations.
Remind yourself you don’t have to face this alone. People want to support you.
This can give you the strength to shift your attention away from the fear and focus on the positive outcomes you would like to create.
Of course, I understand your ultimate fear may be death of self or a loved one. Exploring your feelings and beliefs about death is important. Knowing love does not end at death makes it easier to trust the process. Here are some tips on communicating with loved ones who have crossed.
Meditate to feel the supporting guidance that is available to you and to release your imagined fears.
Don’t assume the fear is related to your personal experience.
The vibration of fear is intense in our world today. Most of us are more sensitive than we realize. We can pick up the vibration of fear from others without even noticing it.
If you walk by someone who is in a state of fear, your energy will respond to theirs and without realizing it, you may experience a vibration of fear that has nothing to do with you.
Now your body responds and you look for the threat so you can diffuse it.
But once you label the sensation as fear and attach it to one of your personal stories, you’ve made it our own.
The key is to let the feeling be just a feeling.
Don’t always assume it is directly related to you.
Meditate to support the world, and allow the wave of energy to pass through you.
Evaluate your beliefs
From the moment we are born, we are indoctrinated by beliefs from family, friends, and society. We often internalize these beliefs without much awareness. These beliefs then define how we navigate life. They don’t even have to make sense because most of the time we never stop to think about the power they have over us. Many fears are associated with outdated beliefs about the world. Taking time to explore and analyze your beliefs on a regular basis will reduce your susceptibility to taking on other people’s fears.
Mastering the Process:
There many layers to this process. It may take time, to integrate it all. You have the makings of a beautiful friendship. Let your friendship with fear unfold and before you know it you will have a whole new perspective.